Santa Corp launches E.L.F.

Now everyone can update Santa’s all-important Christmas List using the new, e-enabled Electronic List Function (E.L.F). The previously time-consuming and error-prone process of determining who has been naughty and who has been nice has been completely streamlined.

Santa, who has devoted considerable resources to looking at ways of improving service to his ever-expanding global customer base, said “providing a multi-channel approach to the task of behaviour reporting is an intrinsic part of our modernization agenda.” He added “we are committed to making our list management more accurate and straightforward and to allow members of the global community to have more say in who is ultimately deemed naughty or nice. Ho ho ho.”

According to a Senior Elf, the Function’s in-built checking-it-twice facility means that Santa’s list is now more accurate than ever before. “Now Santa really knows if you’ve been bad or good” explained the Elf, “so our advice is for everyone to be good for goodness sake!”